Bland heroines and Rodgers and Hammerstein and what I write

This is a response to a piece by Remittance Girl on "Sleeping Beauties of the 21st Century" found here

Over my years of speaking to perverts (grin) I often shock the room by admitting that I did not like O as a character in the miss-titled Story of O. I find her to be so devoid of character and faceless that by the time they slip an actual mask over her face, it seems rather pointless. Passive doesn’t even begin to describe her; she is like a Real Doll with a limited vocabulary sound file embedded inside. I never got a clue as to whether she enjoyed what was happening, was curious about it, wanted more, wanted less, wanted out…she just endured, sometimes with mild distress, but never with anything like joy or despair, passion, anger, jealousy, frustration, humor, bitterness…just…nothing.

Frankly, I thought the book was a romance between Rene and Sir Stephen. The woman they share – or rather, the woman Rene gives to his half brother – is a courting gift of submission, not even the binding element of a threesome.

Perhaps the bland, featureless woman makes it easier for some readers to place themselves into that role. She has simple flaws, like Bella’s clumsiness, which can be appealing, and minor self doubts, which can be sympathized with. But she will be easy to step into as an identity character because so little of her is really fleshed out. The reader doesn’t need to put a whole life story aside to fantasize about living this life – all she needs to do is think, "Well, I can be clumsy. I am just like Bella. In fact, I also play the piano and speak Russian and make fanciful cocktails and have a doctorate in Bioethics. I am much more well rounded than Bella. Edward would love me even more."

A blank main character makes it easier for the reader to create her own Mary Sue story, which is what James did – she wrote a Mary Sue fan fic for Twilight, substituting kink for vampirism.

In the 60′s and 70′s a lot of (straight) porn was made where the “leading man” was, shall we say, not very conventionally attractive. (CoughcoughRonJeremyCough) The word was, the average straight man watching these movies – because only men watched them – did not want a *rival* on the screen fucking the ladies. If the leading man was ugly, any man could say, “I am much better looking. I could totally get all those chicks.” Fantasy acquired. Orgasm imminent.

I am not that kind of a reader or watcher; I don’t need to have a character subsumed for me to be able to identify with them; and I write for readers like me. This became clear to me when my agent asked me if I could write something “like” 50 Shades, and I realized my mind was blank. Every scenario I came up with wouldn’t work. Now, I see why. I was mentally rebelling against the woman-as-blank-slate part of the equation. I never liked the song “Sixteen Going on Seventeen.” The lyrics gave me the creeps. But they would apparently make a great romance book.

You wait little girl

On an empty stage

For fate to turn the light on

Your life little girl

is an empty page

that men will want to write on

Blech.

Chris Parker Story Wins John Preston Award

I am honored to announce that I have won the 2012 John Preston Short Story Award from the National Leather Association-International.  This is my second John Preston Award, and the second time ever that my writing has ever won an award, so thank you, NLA-International!

"The Man With The Phoenix Tattoo" is my first-ever story about Chris Parker that does not take place within a Marketplace novel. For you Chris Parker fans out there, you can find the story within the anthology Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica on the book carousel to the left. You can here me read it here.

Take Me There is a great collection of  erotica by, for, and about transfolk, FTMs, MTFs, genderqueers, gender outlaws, as well as two-spirit, intersex, and gender-variant people. The power of seeing and being seen is a central theme in the anthology; it’s not simply about passing or not passing (an idea often explored with transgender characters), but about being acknowledged and desired in a sexual context.

Other contributors include authors Kate Bornstein (Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation), Patrick Califia (Speaking Sex to Power), S. Bear Bergman (Butch is a Noun), Ivan Coyote (Missed Her), Julia Serrano (Whipping Girl), Helen Boyd (My Husband Betty),  Toni Amato (Pinned Down by Pronouns), Alicia E. Goranson (Supervillianz), filmmaker Tobi Hill-Meyer, musician Rahne Alexander, songwriter Shawna Virago, blogger Andrea Zanin, and others.

I hope Take Me There not only introduces new readers to the Marketplace series, but that it will offer my long-time fans a look at Chris Parker’s fictional peers. And I am pleased and honored that NLA-International has chosen this story, in its genderqueer context, to honor with the John Preston Award this year.

Writing Exercise from my CircletPress Retreat

Below is a scene based on a world I created for a paranormal action book. Sadly, no editor or publisher has yet expressed an interest in a bunch of kinky/queer sexual transgressives fighting monsters like gay werebears. *sigh*

The one rule of the Cordon Sanitaire observed more in theory than in practice was to not foul the nest with extraneous passions not related to the prime mission. And yet, there was always someone waking in the armory with a runaway circus performer, a partner in a clandestine affair of enormous complications, twin trans hookers with a service dog - all manner of decadence and oddity, needing a quiet exit after hushed tiptoeing through the corridors or a loud and exuberant morning orgy send-off.

The morning after the vampire debacle in Westchester, there were no extra partners to consider except for Roland’s ghost, who ruled the morning communing held in the west tower. Not that he would have wanted this; being a devout Christian, no doubt he wanted to move on to his suitable divine reward, but he needed to be debriefed, and calling him back was the only way to confirm the details of the raid and why they had been so unprepared.

What wasn’t in the plan, however, was his annoyed spirit waking every other sensitive and even the psiblind, who had been trying, desperately, to forget the tragedy of his death in the one guaranteed way to send a mind into timeless thoughtlessness – orgasms. And so it was when Dare, his cock hard as a bayonet in slave Vera’s mouth, heard Roland saying the rosary and lost, simultaneously, his erection, his grip in her silky hair and his temper.

“Jesus Chris Roland, you died yesterday!” he shouted at the ceiling. “Give a brother a fucking break, eh?”

50 Shades of Sellout

50 Shades of Sellout

by LAntoniou

"Double Crap!" Tiffany extrapolated, as she realized her perfectly perky 37D breasts had gained another D overnight. "Now what will I wear to the company party! I must make a good impression on Mr. Momzer Macher, the new President and CEO and CFO and CBO and...oh, whatever he is!" Sighing with frustration, the gorgeous blonde gazed at her mirror image and fingered the honey gold waves of her naturally wavy hair. "I know! I will wear that daring leather bustier that my gay BFF talked me into buying at that strange street fair he took me to in San Francisco! Gee, I wonder if he worked things out with that hunk he met that day. He said he was into leather, but when I asked him where to find a good purse, he just laughed."

She blinked her cerulean eyes in her memory and then went to get her fetching outfit. It was tight in all the right places and really emphasized her 37-24-36 shape, and the leather felt so stiff and hot and sexy against her alabaster skin! And how it molded her perfect 110 pounds! "How will I ever get through the night without fainting?" she wondered as she strapped her tiny, delicate alabaster feet into her four inch heels, deciding not to take the really high ones. "Good thing I already threw up."

At the party, everyone was in their fanciest clothes and the music was awesome and loud and there was dancing and great food like chicken fingers and the little hot dogs in pastry and sushi and tapas and stuff. Tiffany said hi to all her girlfriends, except for Boring Brenda and kissed all the gay guys and was licking a cherry popsicle that had a fancy imported liquor in it when suddenly she saw...HIM.
Like. O. M. G. There he was, so freaking hot. In his leather pants from Dolce and Gabanna and his black silk shirt and really expensive black tie and black jacket and black diamond stick pin through the really expensive black tie and his ink black hair and jet black eyes and his big feet in big, black boots, oh, he was so into black.

"you're Tiffany," he murmured as he leaned in toward her, gracefully looking at her plunging cleavage, and her heaving alabaster breasts.

He was so tall! Even with her lithe 5'7" frame enhanced by those 4" heels, he was at least a foot taller! And his piercing black eyes pierced her to her very soul.

"I...I..." Tiffany stammered, letting her booze popsicle drip, drip, drip down her hand to splat, splat, splat on the floor. She bit her full, ruby red lips in luscious lasciviousness.

"I'm disgustingly rich and dominant," he sneered dominantly. "you will be Mine!"

"Oh, wow," Tiffany seized. "Um. Wow. OK. Sure. What does that mean, exactly?"

"I have a checklist!" he said triumphantly, while texting an URL to her. "Go to My Web Page and fill it out, and tell Me whether you like, dislike, or are neutral about the 300 activities and fetishes listed there, and whether you've done them before and with whom, and what you thought about it, and then rate them on a scale of 1-10 on whether you'd like to do it now, tomorrow, next week, or after the Mayan Apocalypse."

"Um," Tiffany coughed out, a delicate flush gathering on her porcelain features, her beautiful, full lips, her high, sculpted cheekbones, her delicately feathered eyebrows and her oh-so-cute upturned nose. "But I'm sure I haven't done anything on your list at all! Despite being an adult in 2012, working at your huge corporation and having been through some form of schooling, I am still completely virginal and know nothing at all about kinky sex! I am beautiful, though."

His anthracite eyes brightened under His heavy, midnight brows and He gazed at her with an acquisitional hunger, like a Guy who hasn't had anything to eat in days. And yet she could see some painful memory, some dark - dare she think black? - secret lurking behind those onyx eyes.

"Then you're really going to be Mine!" he thundered. "Because I Alone can teach you the gift of submission, give rise to your slave heart, grant to you the loving dominance of My Masterful Aggression, all tempered, of course, with rationality and with all due care and attention given to risk-aware negotiation! I will teach you to serve Me with your submissive soul, your passive power, your girly gushiness, train you to come at the snap of My Fingers and find true freedom in your complete subjugation to My Will. Yes...you will even learn...Bad Grammar."

"Triple crap!" Tiffany declaimed. "All that? But...how is that possible? It all sounds crazy! And yet...when I look into your charcoal eyes under that irrepressible lock of ebony hair, as I run my searching, trembling fingers across the steel buttons on your sable silk shirt, all I can think of is...Jesus Christ, I am so horny I can die. I think. But i don't really know, because of the virgin thing?"
Mr. Momzer Macher took her pale, shaking hand and led her gentle, undulating form away from the party into his private boardroom where the table could be set up like a bed and tumbled her back onto it.

"I will teach you, little one," he said with intrepid confidence in himself. "And you will be my prized little party girl possession for all time. Just like the last seventeen."

"Oh, quadruple crap!" she extremed, as he tore away her leather bustier with one hand and fell on her like a ravening wolf. A ravening black wolf.

To be continued...OK, not really.

Feel free to share!
And for SM fiction of a different color, see lantoniou.com

Heading to Boston at the End of April

While I wait for the rest of the submissions for the Marketplace fan-fiction anthology to arrive, I am headed to the Boston area, where I will present two workshops.

Sunday, April 29th:  Romancing With Words, an erotic writing workshop on Sunday, April 29th.

If you've ever wanted to go beyond "love and kisses" at the end of your notes, or pondered how to seduce that hottie via e-mails, you'll want to attend this class. From 140-character teases to a novel-length paeon to your perfect partner, you too can translate your sexy thoughts to text.  Find your voice and use your words and thoughts to rev up your romance. No writing experience necessary! Your experience, desires and imagination are all you need. Bring something to write on and write with.

Romancing With Words is being sponsored by the New England Leather Alliance. The class runs from 6:30-8:30 on Sunday April 29th, at the Unity Church of Somerville. There is a fee for the class, so please check the NELA website for more information and to register.

Monday, April 30th: Once We Were Slaves: Ritual at the Intersection of Sexual Identity, Community & Tradition.
How do we build ritual that authentically honors tradition while making room for the experiences of our faith communities? What can we learn from reading and participating in liturgies that draw deeply from the well of personal and group identity? Join me as I meet with Queer Rites at Harvard Divinity School to discuss "Avadim Chayinu: Once We Were Slaves," the kinky Passover seder I co-wrote with my wife.  The workshop will take place from 1-2:30 p.m. on Monday, April 30th at the Rainbowitz Room of the Harvard-Andover Theological Library, Harvard Divinity School, 45 Francis Avenue, Cambridge. The workshops is being sponsored by Queer Rites, is a group of students who have come together to foster dialogue and to explore ritual around what it means to be queer, what it means to be spiritual, and where those two intersect and interact. RSVP not required but requested to trinsf (at) gmail (dot) com.

Extended Deadline for Marketplace Fan Fiction

April 30 is the new  deadline for my Call for Submissions to No Safewords – A Marketplace Collection

Do you have what it takes to enter The Marketplace? For the first time since The Academy, I am opening the doors to my exclusive playroom, for this first collection of fan fiction!

Yes, you can write a Marketplace story – and this is your chance to really push the limits! Use any character, any setting. Delve into the onlineMarketplace wiki to brush up on existing characters or create your own. Fit the story to what already exists or imagine a sort of alternative universe to my alternative universe. You can even add elements that do not exist in the books – want to make it paranormal? Set in the past/future? Care to slash together characters you thought shouldhave hooked up? Do you think there should have been more gay/lesbian/straight/rubber/steampunk/food fetish/Canadian/sexy accountant stories in the books? Now is your chance to write one!

I am the sole owner of the Marketplace series and all derivative works set in that universe. Therefore, I reserve the right as the owner/creator of the universe to refer to or use any character that an anthology contributor introduces, but by the same token, you the writer also keep the right to use that character yourself in your future work, although the MP setting will not be yours to continue to play with. Neither of us would have the right to stop the other from using a version of the character or name in future work. Fair 'nuff?

Questions I suspect will be frequently asked:

Q: I wrote this Mary Sue story ages ago! Do you want it?

A: Is it good? Then sure!

Q: I've written novels all about these other characters but I have this idea about what would happen if they encountered the MP. Is that OK?

A: If you own the rights to those characters and don't mind that I might use them again later, then sure.

Q: What if these Star Trek/Twilight/Farscape/Disney characters found the MP, and...

A: Sorry, no characters belonging to other people, especially people who resemble large corporations with lawyers.

Q: So, Chris Parker is a vampire, see and Geoff Negel is a werewolf...

A: That story better be REAL good, that's all I'm saying. Or, intentionally hysterical.

Q: We can write funny stories??

A: Have you read the books? Of course you can.

Q: Does it have to contain a sex scene?

A: Read the books. Sex scenes are not what drive these novels – power and the human relationships and conflicts do. Of course, kinky sex is more than welcome, especially if it is necessary to tell that story!

Q: Do I have to read the books?

A: I am editing other anthologies. Try one of those.

Q: Can I really write about any character? Doing anything I want?

A: I'm human. I am more protective about some characters and story arcs. But the key question remains – Is the story good?

For all submissions – send a MS Word .doc (NOT .docx) or a .rtf file to AntoniouEdits (@) gmail (dot) com. Do not paste the story into the body of an e-mail. Include your full contact information, e-mail address and mailing address in both the e-mail and on the attached document. Format neatly according to professional guidelines, and include a brief personal bio.
I prefer a story length between 3000-7000 words. Shorter? Then that story better pack a punch. Longer? Maybe you should consider publishing a novella.
These are erotica collections, so make sure your stories contain sex. Sex is defined as any activity that increases the potential for orgasm; so by all means do not limit yourself there. While your story might be dark or edgy for a particular book, please do not include murder, suicide or unhappy endings. Do not expect an answer until after the deadline has passed, although I reserve the right to answer earlier if I want to.

Gay Pride Comes Early This Year

Usually, I wait until June to put on my rainbow duds and chant "I'm here! I'm queer! Buy my books, my dear!" But this year, Gay Pride comes early for me.

On Saturday, March 3rd, I am reading at a monthly "Queer Memoir" event. The March event's theme is "Leather" and is being curated by my friend and fellow transgressive, Sassafras Lowrey.  It's an evening for truth-telling, and I'll be pulling up tales from my leather past and present to share.  It's also a benefit evening to support another fellow transgressive story teller, Toni Amato's Write Here, Write Now. Toni and I go way back, and we still bump up against each other on a regular basis, most recently when we were both published in Tristan Taormino's Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica.

At the end of March, I'm attending the 4th annual Rainbow Book Fair, held at New York City's LGBT Center in Manhattan. The Fair runs pretty much all day, and I'll be wandering around, signing and selling books, and reading in the afternoon.  It's the largest LGBT book event in the country, and it's free. How could you say no? Join me Saturday, March 24th. I'll autograph your books, whether you buy them that day or bring them with you.

If you are bummed that you'll miss these opportunities to hear me read, fear not! Folks have been posting videos of me reading at various events over the past few months. You can find those videos, podcasts, and interviews of me here.